This is going to sound insane, but I need you to trust me.
I care. I barely know you, Infact we won’t properly meet for at least another few days. Your existence is crucial! Vital, even, to the continued continuity of several other systems, including a certain wolf boy, a cyborg, and a very banged up dinobot.
Do me this one favor, and I will answer your questions, every last one.
Trust me, and stay open to the possibility of what will happen.
Trust me, I’m a doctor.
And now I cannot go back to that resonant state. There’s this odd hollow sensation.
There is no sound from that transponder now, only silence.
I think he finally did something truly stupid, and left us all vulnerable. Perhaps I made a mistake admitting to anyone, especially myself, that I was part of this. Harmonic is…was…a bad idea. And now I believe, the unified state at least, is gone.
…anyone who could actually help…
Just want to know why he said it instead.
Forget helping me with finding him, just explain: “It wasn’t me.”
And it wasn't a rhetorical question, I expect an answer.
When some young bots see a problem, they do not wait for a plan, or a good idea, or even a decent notion; they act.
And when they do, bad things happen. We tried our best to stop it…and you have made it clear enough that we are not allowed to rectify one mans mistake, no matter what.
Pain is odd for us. We experience pain as a single entity, the bleed can be remarkably minor between each part of us. If one is injured, another can rise to push it aside. Rarely, if ever, have we been injured as unified.
This time we were. Pain shared is pain given Eightfold to all of us.
This begs the question,
Do any of you experience this phenomenon?
we have come to work, in the unified state. Our energy has been screaming to the depths since roughly 0500hrs local, and there is some reason for it.
We are concerned for a friend who has suddenly … Changed their sound/feel. It is there, normal and deep…but it rattles, as if a screw or something has rattled loose and fallen into the speaker. A noise that unsettled us.
For that reason, our own harmony has become louder, more volatile, and it is…
Bonded as I am, it is important to me to ensure that those who have taken to JP do not levy upon him my own failings and missteps.
It is common for Phoenix to burn. We do this regularly, and I myself have recently burned. I find that each time I endure this part of my life cycle, I experience a period of intense inability to socially interact correctly. I do not understand why, or how this benefits myself or my host, but no matter: It happens anyway.
This most recent burn, I have discovered that I am now nearly incapable of interacting with mortals with any ease.
It was once my greatest joy.
I am not entirely sure how to proceed.
Worst yet, the host has to put up with the backlash.
I didn’t realize what that would have meant for me. Or what it’d end up doing to me down the line. I don’t blame the curse, because that’s not what’s at fault. I don’t blame the person who said it, they were just being human. I don’t even blame myself… I just… accept it now.
It was a long time ago, I was a kid. High School age. Sitting in my bedroom, late at night, expecting it to happen again. I’d been doing the werewolf thing pretty regularly for roughly a year by this point, I kinda understood what was going on in my head, how to handle it…I didn’t expect what would happen that particular night.
The pain wasn’t the same. The ache wasn’t in my feet, or my head, or even my hands where it belonged; it was in my back, over my shoulder blades. It continued to build, as my core temperature continued to rise. It’s hard to explain how the pain continued to rise, but perhaps it’d be better if I placed it into a metaphor.
Imagine that time you’d gone and stubbed your toe.
Imagine that time you’d had heartburn.
Imagine that time you’d broken a bone…shattered it completely…
Then imagine it being re-molded and formed into some disgusting shape that will need to be shattered again to put it back the way it was.
Now imagine all of that, while someone stabs you in your shoulder blades…over and over and over, all the while you’re getting hotter and hotter.
And then…they burst out of my back. Wings that felt like flame. Aurum had come.
I was to pay the price for this union of souls, and I hadn’t even known I was supposed to be receiving the shipment of power in the first place.
You know those dreams where you die? But you wake up before you actually DIE?
I lived those dreams. Dream after dream…again and again…over and over, but I didn’t wake up from the dream before I died. I relived EVERY last one of those lives last moments, grim and gruesome and painful.
I screamed. I cried. I howled and I thrashed as I died. And died. And died. And died. OVER and over and over…reliving lives I’d never dreamed of, forced to see how horrible life was.
Aurum showed me every one of his previous deaths.
I shattered. Inside, I shattered. I had already to deal with my sexuality. My gender identity, my Lycanthropy, and my erratic rage/mood…Death was beyond me.
I spent days huddled. Screaming out until I was hoarse, until I couldn’t make a sound. They tried to figure out what was wrong. To sedate me. To check my mind for damage over and over, as I mumbled about the deaths I’d seen.